The Engineering Manager as Coach, Not Boss

I want you to think about the best manager you have ever had. Not the most technically impressive one, not the one who shipped the most features, but the one who made you genuinely better at your job. I know who that person is for me, and I bet you know who that person is for you too. Odds are good that person did not micromanage your work. They probably did not hover over your PRs or tell you exactly how to solve every problem you brought to them. What they likely did was ask you questions that forced you to think more clearly. They gave you feedback that was specific enough to actually act on. They took your career seriously in a way that felt genuine rather than performative. They helped you see the gap between where you were and where you were capable of getting, and then they helped you close it. That is coaching. And it is the most underused and underdeveloped skill in engineering management. Most engineering managers are never taught how to coach. They come up through the IC tra